This is shameful

[Ed. note: I can't believe I'm about to show this. I'm must be mad-tits-crazy INSANE!]

It's been more than four years since I wrote and submitted my first-ever journalism assignment. It was March 2007 and I was 18, still a young what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life college student. I thought I had it all figured out the semester before. I was hooked on science and looking to be the next top-knotch CSI investigator, rivaling Gil Grissom. Only my plan didn't work out as hoped.

The 16-hours of semester-long science classes, spanning from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. everyday, took their toll; I knew that I wasn't cut out for chemical formulas, biology mumbo jumbo and the headache of all the labs. [Note: For a while there I thought I could get away with sleeping in my 8 a.m. chemistry class MWF, but my teacher was all against that. Every time a student tried to fall asleep, he'd slap his hand on a desk and yell "HELLOOOOOOOO! CAN YOU HEAR ME? AM I BORING YOU???" in his thick African accent. It was brutal, man.]

Fuck that. I left that faster than a crop-dusted beer fart.

So I spent the Christmas break trying to figure out what I enjoyed. I knew I always had writing in my blood, I had just never actually considered it as a career. As long as I remembered as a young Keyser, I loved to read the morning paper, specifically heading straight for the sports section––the most important section of all, I thought at the time. Psh, who needed front page news. Plus the semester before, as I was wasting away in the science building, feeling my soul slowly being eaten away by test tubes and beakers and other nonsense, I'd crossed the newsroom of the school's newspaper, the News-Register, quite often and always wondered, "What if?"

That next semester I took the plunge and signed up for my first journalism class and gave writing its well-deserved chance. Those first few weeks of class I nearly shit myself, and then once more when my professor, the great Bill Lodge who turned out to be my biggest and greatest mentor, handed me my first assignment: cover a spring symposium.

Wait! You want me to go sit in a room full of people, cover what happened, and then TALK to those people after it's all over. You people must be crazy!

By no means growing up was I a journalism junkie. Sure I read the sports pages often, but my knowledge of journalism never stretched past that. I never sat and broke down stories like I've heard  other future writers doing. I had no idea what a lede was, a nut graf*, or the importance of quoting people.

[*Funny thing about nut grafs: Coming off a semester of nothing but science classes, my first thought of a nut graf was actually grafing a guy's family jewels. True story. I quickly found out that wasn't the case.]

I covered the event, wrote my story and turned it in, feeling as accomplished as I ever had in my 18 years. I knew I was hooked. Journalism sunk her dirty rotten teeth in me and there was no letting go. As soon as fall classes opened, I registered for every journalism class I could take. Then, to my surprise, I was offered to write a few stories for the summer issue.

Bill invited me in to the newsroom, handed me two stories and gave me the rundown of how the writing process goes: talk with a few sources and piece together 500 coherent words in beautifully crafted sentences.

The thought of walking up to a total stranger for a quote petrified me.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You mean I have to go back out and talk to more people! What happened to my understanding that these stories just pieced themselves together?! You people really are crazy!

But to my surprise, I did it––shaky voice, hands and all––and my stories ran, both on the front page! Riding on Cloud 9, HA! The way I felt even Cloud 9 couldn't understand. Not only did I have three stories under my belt, but the smell of formaldehyde and failed science experiments had finally left my nostrils.

Now, here I am, four years later and doing this 'professionally.'**

[**I say 'professionally' because I get paid for a living to write by an actual newspaper, but I still don't feel like a professional yet; I have too much to learn.]

So, here it is, in its bad spelling, grammar, AP style and all.

[Ed. note: I'm sorry in advance.]

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Spring Symposium Goes Political: The Politics of Gender*

[*I don't know what I was thinking here. But I assumed I should sent a title in with my story. Stupid me. Even as a headline this sucks.]

"We do this to raise discussion. Not to force beliefs on each other."
-Christan Amundsen*

[*I thought it would be a good idea to insert a quote here––later on did I figure out it's called a pull quote. For some reason, I thought all stories got one of these.]

On Wednesday March 21, 2007 North Lake held its annual Spring Symposium. Moderated by Christan Amundsen (Social Sciences-Psychology), along with seven panelists: Tiffany Anderson (  ), Paul Magee (Sociology), Amy Bacio (Government), Avis Rupert (English), Ivan Dole (Developmental Reading), and Marcos Arandia (Philosophy).  The discussion topic: The Politics of Gender.*

[*This could quite possibly be the most God-awful lede written in the history of journalism. What the fuck was I thinking. The lede that ran is a helluva lot better than this (thanks, Bill).]

Before we can dive into this we must distinguish the difference between gender and sex.  Gender is more of what feel inside, whether we feel male or female. Where a persons sex is physical, proving that we are either male or female.  Ivan Dole gave two examples: "Women give birth to babies, men don't."  "Girls are weak, boys are tough."  The first being a sexual fact whereas the other could be considered as a bias gender statement. Now as the discussion grew, along did its audience. Topping somewhere close to 50-60 students.  Numerous ideas arose as the panelist and students voiced their opinions.  A major discussion was whether or not we as a society are ready for a female president.  With Hilary Clinton stating she will run for Presidency in the upcoming 2008 election has struck controversy over the United States and over the students and faculty at North Lake.   Paul Magee went on to say that "We guys are going to have to start learning how to say ma'am." Magee also threw around the phrase Madam President.  Is he right? Do we as a society have to start accepting the fact that a female president will soon be inevitable? A quick show of hands proved that most of North Lake students would not vote for Hilary Clinton in the upcoming election, no matter the circumstances. Leading one student to say: "People are told not to like her.  She shows no emotion.  Whenever you see her on T.V. her face is a stone.  At least let us see your smile Hilary."  Yet doesn't her being a woman open her to more criticism? Does showing emotion make her weak?  And don't we hold higher standards since she is a woman, especially if she is to win office?

[*I don't think there is one thing right with this entire paragraph. Not only is it well above the 70-word limit that most newspapers follow, but holy shit talk about editorialized. I should have just quit before I even wrote this.]

Look at society today, are we not criticizing the president now for lying to us about the war in Iraq?  One student feels that Hilary could potentially make a good president.  Stating that she was there while Bill was in office, and now we look at Bill as being a good president.

Couldn't she of learned a few things while Bill was in office? Or what about the possibility she was running the country while we thought Bill was the one. It wasn't just Hilary who ran the whole discussion; the topic of religion in politics arose.  Should politicians' religious
views determine whether they get elected to office?  Should they run office based on their religious views?  Magee stood firm as he said "It doesn't matter a politicians faith as long as they can run the government!  When you're about to go in for open heart surgery you aren't going to ask how often do you go to church?  You're going to ask how many times you done this, and how many deaths?" One student went on to say "I feel along with many others that religion and politics do not mix. But how is it possible to take the religion out of politics? When a senator makes a vote on a bill, isn't somewhere deep down their religious views helping with that decision?"

No matter the topic, the Symposium is a great way to gather students and have them voice their opinions over events going on in the world today. Whether you are able to catch five minutes before class or stay the whole time. Stop by, stir up your beliefs, and see what your fellow students feel. As Amundsen put it "We do this to raise discussion, not to force beliefs upon each other."*

[*I think the only right thing I did in this entire article was actually end it on a decent quote. The sentences leading up to the quote are terrible, but the quote isn't awful.]

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